Moving On…Again

moving-on

Photo credit is of course one of my faves from Stephen Hanks called “Moving On”

First I’d like to say I hope everyone had fabulous holiday season…may the New Year bring us all peace and happiness…

 

I haven’t been here much…just living life…watching days go by…seasons change…getting older…

You find yourself content yet yearning…wanting…longing for more..

I felt lost for awhile…unhappy with the person I had become…no longer the chaser of dreams..no longer living the dream…

stagnant….bored…

I found an old friend…one that brought light to my days….smiles to my lips…

I felt alive again…spilling my heart…like a young girl….comfortable…then…

The secrets…the untruths…the mysteries…they always reveal themselves…

I am not regretful…sometimes opening ourselves….opening our hearts…brings us back to a place we had forgotten…where smiles and love filled our hearts and our days…

We move on from what held us back….

We move on from the dark cloud on our heart…

We move on and find ourselves again…

We smile…and await the next part of our journey….with hope and anticipation…

Welcome to 2017 my friends…

We are “Moving On”..

 

 

Hi and uggh….and Happy Halloween

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I have not been around much lately….the summer was busy…getting school started was busy…and then there is this feeling I have….just this ugggh…of so many things around me…is it disgust??

Is it anger??

Is it just frustation?

Or is it that I find the ignorance around me to just be too much….I wash my hands of it…I have never enjoyed conflict or disagreement…but in my heart…people make me want to scream…

Parents at horse shows who believe because they pay alot of money…their children deserve better treatment and higher placed ribbons…ugggh

Friends who believe they can just pop in and out of your life like your a department store…only there to provide them with something when they need it….ugggh

Family who believe you have no life and have just soo much time to do things they need you to do…on short notice…when you have a child w/ lots of activities but oh no…please let me just do what you need ok….ugggh

Organic green lovers who I admire and respect mind you…but your life is better than mine because I dont live that way??? your child is smarter and healthier why?? ugggh…please

I could go on….politicians….the ebola scare…ugggh ugggh ugggh

Then I decide to visit here tonight…and I read…and I bite my tongue…its never good to begin religious discussion w/ others…its just a mess…but I read a blog about Halloween and how it glorifies evil and we should not subject our children to it…and it glorifies death and its against God and I just decided I wanted to scream…we could go into the history of Halloween or the fun its supposed to be for the young children…its not supposed to be some deep holiday to hang alot of thought into…
but in the end…please remember to read your Bible…it is filled w/ death…it is filled w/ violence and evil and suffering and slavery and all sorts of things…but it leads those with faith to rise above and find strength and wisdom in God and peace for our hearts…so please dont tell me we are subjecting our children to evil by allowing them to dress up and go out for candy…UGGGHHHH

the world out there….the reality…is the world is filled with evil..its up to us as parents to help them find their way to overpower it…to give them hope…help them find faith…

and to pick the costume…w/ a sword to defeat all evil….hehehhee

Happy Halloween…to all…

Lucky

ribbonsmary & KK & Lucky3K & Ella

My sister flew in last Friday….the days have flown by and today I must say goodbye to her….I enjoy her visiting….we laugh like little girls and she makes my K happy by being here to watch her accomplishments….and what a weekend we had…

Her horse Lucky was pretty anxious the first day and they struggled but he did the jumps…just was hard to control him he was so wound up….but the next day….

She won a blue ribbon….first place…in jumping…the smile…even though we were on day 2 of being at the fairgrounds since dawn…sunburned and tired…you couldnt miss the smile…

Our sweet Lucky…my K loves him…even though he is a bit nervous…and together they did it and I cried and of course…so proud…it really didnt matter to me if they got blue…I just wanted them to get through the course and no one get hurt…lol…

Anyways…we have been to cookouts…the weather here is gorgeous….out to dinner with my husbands mother and sister…and my sister got to see my K play in her final orchestra concert…she stayed in town so she could go…its been a wonderful week and I hate to see her go…

Anyways…I said I would share some pictures…some are on my sisters camera so will have to wait for those….but…here they are…my K…my K w/ her lil friend…my K with my sister before the concert and then of course…her horse…

Lucky…
What a sweet boy…
Lucky

Before

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Show time this weekend….thought I would share some before pics and words…..then will share some after…

Have spent almost every night last two weeks at the barn….practicing…then this week its cleaning…..cleaning the horse….cleaning the tack and polishing….saddles, bridles, stirrups and bits….polishing riding boots….washing show coats….packing totes of supplies…hairnets and bobby pins, lint rollers for velvet helmets….all preparing…

She must take care of her horse this weekend too as if its her own….she must pack up the trailer w/ all her horses stuff and transfer to fairgrounds and then Saturday morning….all riders must be at the fairgrounds at 6am…they must feed and water their horse and clean its stall before doing warm ups in the show ring and then the show will begin….two days of this….she is registered for 6 classes…

She laughs….a laugh you only hear when your child is completely full of joy….its one you never forget when you hear it….

She smells….like hay….sweat…horse poop….and she loves it….

She works….unlike I have never seen….putting in hours doing everything she needs to do….never complains….its fun…(but gosh should I mention picking up her room and I get the nasty look..lol)

Most of all….she just beams….like there is a light inside of her….her and I read a book once…about a young girl finding her way…her mother had died and she went to live w/ an aunt…her aunt told her one day…she would find her fire…that feeling inside that would light up her life…I remember a year or so ago…when I watched her do this before…prep for a show…the hours put in…the time and energy….she looked at me and simply said….”I have found my fire Mom….you know…like in that book..”

Happy Memorial weekend…..will return when finally….the fire will burn out temporarily and she will sleep for a whole day…me too actually cause I have to drive her around for all this stuff…lolImageImageImage

 

Happy?

horse
Have been asked alot recently what have I been doing….are you happy they say…reminds me now as I type of Pharell Williams song….humming it as I type…

What exactly is happy? Content….fulfilled….blessed….??
A job we enjoy ….a family….perhaps a new home or car??

I read the news or watch current events on tv and see how much is happening in the world and its in those moments that I say to myself…Im so very blessed….my problems are nothing in the big picture….

I listen and see friends….complaining of their children….their jobs…about themselves….and I think….yea…I guess I am happy….

there are times I guess when my mind wanders….to simpler times….to quieter times in my life….sometimes I miss those times…then my name is called or the puppies need to pee or the phone rings and I am snapped back to reality…

I havent written for awhile….not because anything is wrong but simply because I havent had the time or unless I have something deep to say…I keep it to myself…lol

I then remembered one reason I keep this blog is to remember things….things about my princess…things I always want to remember….to share with her one day….so tonight I take a moment…to reflect….

Mothers Day is this weekend….there has been nothing in my life as fulfilling as being a mom….nothing even compares…I miss my mother all the time….wishing she was still with us…she wasnt perfect….no one is….but she loved my daughter and I miss seeing them together…

If she were here I would tell her how our K has blossomed this year….how tall she is….how having a wonderful teacher has brought out this beautiful student….we struggled so much last year…she hated school…..hated her teacher….homework was worse than pulling teeth but this year….straight A student….heading to middle school and placed in a double accelerated math program….reading beyond her years…..such a breath of fresh air as a student…

Still loves horses…..big horse show coming Memorial weekend….my sister is coming to stay and go to the show….K is so excited that someone is coming to watch….she is recovering from a broken wrist that happened in February while roller skating….was a very long 8 weeks with no activities but we are back to our full and busy schedule….I kinda missed it….

I am always amazed at her…..singing and listening to music all the time….mostly hip hop but I heard some Fall Out Boy today on her ipod….cool….she is big into fashion….still loves her collection of shoes….we dip dyed her hair in Kool Aid couple weeks ago…so yea…she has red tips right now…should just wash out in another week or so….but she has enjoyed doing something different…

She would kill me for this but….hey….its memories….lol….but she at age 10 has begun having a menstrual cycle….I only mention it….because omg….her hormones are outrageous….tell me I did NOT act this way…..she mostly cries….over the simplest of things….an hour once about a book….last month….we got this urge to watch The Little Mermaid for the first time in years and yep…she cried….bawled is more like it….

So back to the title of this blog….

Happy??

Even though sometimes, for a fleeting moment, I may wish to be on a Caribbean island….alone in the sun and sand….I know I wouldnt if I had the chance….I am doing what I need to be doing….I am enjoying what I am doing…..and i cant imagine doing anything else….my life is filled with love …so yea….

I am happy…

Happy Mothers Day and dont think too awfully hard about life….

Just live it….
and Be Happy…

(singing that tune still….if I knew how to post Itunes I would …lol)

Daydream

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I have always been a dreamer…dreaming of places I would like to visit….people I would like to meet….and sometimes…I just daydream of things…childhood dreams…adult dreams…I remember daydreaming about being a horse jockey when I was younger….then I got too tall..

I remember in my teen years….I dreamed of being a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader…..but then I never quite developed the upper body for that position….giggling

Sometimes even today….I will sit and think of things I wish I had learned to do….or wish I could still do….and there is one….one daydream that draws me in rather consistently…

Pole dancing….there is something so erotic about it….yet have you watched some of these women…they are very talented and limber and flexible…it is quite the workout…for the entire body…

I dream of a total body workout like that sometimes….the focus of your entire being…on a single hard object….it feels cool on your hot skin…smooth to the touch….I dream of everything I would do….

every position…

every touch of it…

every part of my body that would touch it…

sighs…

yea…I guess I should get back to work….

ever have a daydream like that?

what is yours?

hugs and kisses to you all….
inverted-pole-dancing-moves

Pole-Dancing<a