Just a quote I saw at my job…..kinda liked it….
“The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone….is what you do with it.”
No reference to author so will say unknown…..
It made me think….
Hope everyone is stepping through the summer and enjoying the days…
I usually focus on watching my husband becoming the father my daughter so needs and deserves….they have a relationship that grows daily….its beautiful to witness….
Somehow this year I remember thinking about how I should write things down….remember them…so I can pass them on…before I forget…lol…
I wrote about my father before….his perfectionism….his strong demeanor which didnt allow for emotions to be displayed openly….only when needed of course…how he passed when I was 16…how I still remember…miss him…
I wrote him a poem after he died….I may have been like 17…I remember using our old typewriter and typing it up on an index card….my mother saved it for many years….thought I would write it here just so one day….I can say I did this…and I remember….well lets see if I remember it first….
REFLECTIONS OF MY FATHER
At times I see my father
Looking from above
The reflections in his eyes
Show me there is love…
Though he is far away and distant
At times I feel he’s near
He tells me not to worry
For he is always here…
We had our disagreements
I thought that it was hate..
We did not realize it was love
Until it was too late..
But I have one thing to tell you Dad
Deep from my heart, it’s true
No matter what happened in the past
Just remember, I love you…
To all fathers….
Happy Fathers Day….
The mother breathed heavily, the months of extra weight now lay beside her in the damp grass. Fog hung over the two like a blanket in the early spring morning. Of course, giving birth was only the beginning…the mother quickly began cleaning her fawn. Licking the soft fur, feeling the life beat against her as each stroke seemed to arouse movement in the small baby. Its small head lifted to smell her mother….smell the surroundings…the freshness….the dampness….the soft brown eyes began to focus… soft brown eyes looked back at her then licked and cleaned behind her ears….sounds began to come alive as the forest sensed the breaking day….life came alive…more aware with each lick…each nudge the mother administered….the fawn began moving about….wanting to know more…see more…smell more…but it was weak….each time its legs moved…she couldnt yet quite figure out how those things worked…awkward and fumbling….but still feeling her mother….lick and nuzzle her…
Eventually….the fawn was clean….freshly fed….the forest around her alive…fog had lifted and warmth surrounded her….maybe it was time….maybe try again to to experience her surroundings….a gentle nudge from her mother and again the fawn tried to steady on the wobbly stick legs….falling every so often…but nuzzled and urged to try again by her mother….eventually….unsteady the fawn stayed balanced and looked around….so many colors….smells….sounds….each beckoning her…there not so far away was a brightness….a warmth….calling her….still not quite steady she stretched….taking unbalanced steps….and in the early morning of a new summer day…
A baby fawn kissed the sunlight for the very first time…and life began…
As I miss my baby tonight….away on a girl scout overnight….I realize learning to be independent and alive….is what life is about…reaching out and touching…experiencing all the beauty that surrounds us….even the small things bring warmth….even if unsteady and unsure…there are those around to help when you fall….just keep trying….and feel life…touch it…smell it…
live it…
Hugs and kisses
Do you remember some of the “firsts” in your life…I remember some…mostly when I was older…my first kiss…my first time…my first day of college…first day of work…
Remember the nervousness….that lost breath…that rapid heartbeat…that joy or love…
I am finding being a parent….I get to relive those moments….watching them in my child…somehow its better than I ever remembered….somehow it means more…somehow these are the ones I want to remember until I leave this earth…
It has been a week of firsts around here….after many struggles and a couple of years of defeat…I watched her finally take off on her bike…on her own…I felt my tears hit my cheek as they always do when I feel her experience things…I heard the determination in her voice that this was it…I heard her tell me to let go…I saw the smile…I see it every day now as if overnight she thinks she might forget so she has to hop on and be sure….
This is our first year of softball….3 games later….6 times at bat…she has struck out…I saw the disappointment…I comfort…reminding her to give it time…then tonight…cold and damp out…sitting and freezing watching her…I hear the bat connect….her run…they got her out at first base but didnt matter…she had her first hit…I saw her eyes reach mine and again the tears hit my cheek….the smile hit her face….and mine….after the game…she had this whole new sound to her voice as she said…I didnt even care they got me out mommy….I hit it…the laughter…unlike laughter I had ever heard…it touched me so deeply….
Its been a week of rainbows here after a storm….a week of getting settled even more in our new home…it will wrap up with another first this weekend…she goes on an overnight girl scout adventure…I hope it brings more of the joy we have had so far….I am reminded of my days of girl scout camps….the campfires….stories…pranks we played…somehow though…I still think hearing about hers will be even more special….
First moments….memories in our hearts…
Hugs and kisses
Summer Rain 
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