Just Another Day

rose

It really is just another day like any other really….

Except in two days…others will remind me…with their sincerest wishes for a happy one…

Its the day I entered the world…the day I gave my parents joy…

Its the day their divorce became final when I was 12….the day my father had brain surgery when I was 16….only to pass away on October 9th…

Its a day that I smile….accept the wishes and the gifts w/ appreciation

Its a day I like to stay home….wondering what other terrible thing may happen on this particular day…wanting simply to curl up and watch a movie…

Its a day I sit….think…reflect….happy for the blessings I have….sad for those I have lost…

Its nice to have birthdays….especially when your young and excited about what another year brings…

For me…I feel old….tired..

Ready to sleep…

It really is…

Just another day..

An Acquaintance

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Acquaintance—a person whom one knows who is not a particularly close friend

Friend—one attached to another by affection or esteem

I guess I need to remind myself sometimes of these differences….

Remember when you were young and you maybe hung with a crowd…you got to know new people based on who dated who or someones cousin or the friend of a friend kinda thing…maybe you did things often….maybe you spent lots of days or evenings experiencing life with these people…maybe your best friend married their best friend…you get my meaning right??

Now what if like twenty years later….you run across one of these people….maybe with social media of today like facebook….or you see them at a reunion….or maybe when you visit home, you just run into them at the mall or something…

I would be so happy to see some of those people again….I would want to pull up a chair or start a fire and grab some beers and sit with them and talk…share their journey…meet their family through pictures or stories or in person….my heart would warm at memories of past years and I would feel warm towards them now…

But I guess sometimes…..I have to remember that maybe even back then….20 years ago….maybe they didnt want to know me….besides just the social get togethers…and its possible that now….20 years later…they still dont…besides the smile and the oh hey…how ya doing…where you at….nice to see you bye thing….thats all they desire….maybe their hearts dont warm at the memories at all….I guess I have to remind myself of these things…kinda makes me sad….I will always feel warm towards them regardless…I love all my memories…they have made me who I am today…

So I have to step back….let it go….they didnt want to really get to know me then….and they dont want to really wish to know who I am now so I have to be ok with that….remind myself….that maybe they never were a friend…

They were and are merely…

An acquaintance..