Butterflies and Grandma

Well….according to my daughter…I am a grandma now….to 5 little caterpillars….smiles

Santa had brought her a butterfly habitat…we can watch the whole life cycle of a butterfly and then set them free…so we waited til the weather warmed before sending away for our live larvae….they arrived the day before yesterday….5 little brown fuzzy caterpillars…she was a mommy….lol

She has shown them around the house…she carries them to her bedroom at night to be close to her…bringing them down in the morning to spend the day w/ me…grandma….while she is at school…she has been so funny and cute…

She turns her alarm off…so as not to wake them…she put colorful tissue paper flowers around their jar to make them feel at home…and yesterday…after school…she sat at the dining room table and read them a book about butterflies…smiling

Now…I am telling no lie here…and I almost about fell outta my seat but when that baby read to those caterpillars….4 of them…came right up to the window of the jar while she read…like they were looking at the pictures she was showing them..it was the darndest thing I had ever seen…course one stayed in the back and slept…a boy she said most likely…lol

So…during the day now…on my dining table…sits my baby’s 5 lil caterpillars….yes…I speak to them….yes…I make sure they are eating…and yes…i make sure the room is warm for them…

I am a grandma now ya know…lol

Mothers Day 2010

 
Mothers Day 2010
I worked…nights….I knew she had plans for me so I went straight home and went to bed….an hour and a half later…I hear her giggle…heading up the stairs…w/ my tray…breakfast was served and all I could really see was her smile….proud….happy…
She ate beside me….we shared….split a banana…then it was time for her gifts….the secret ones she brought home from school and had hidden….the one he had taken her to do at an art place…I was surprised at how well she had kept them secret…she is terrible at secrets…

She had painted me a jewelry box….in the shape of flip flops….signing the bottom…painting her fingertips….dating it…it was beautiful…then I opened the card….her writing…her hearts…then the school gifts she had made…her telling me how long and hard she had worked on these…

The most precious decorated card….filled w/ love….and a book…like a little journal….colored and illustrated w/ butterflies all over the front and back covers…filled w/ her handwriting of things she loved about me….things we shared as mother and daughter….her hand prints w/ each finger filled in with the 10 coolest things about your mom…the tears fell down my face…

You know…we love our children always….we know on days like today they are going to plan and do and say things to express it….but you still cant prepare for that moment….when you see their heart expressed in words or pictures or artwork….when  you see their eyes watching you for your approval….when  you feel their hand on  yours and their little voice saying how much they love you….you always know it in  your heart but it overwhelms you when it happens…

I was overwhelmed today….with so much love and joy I can not even explain….I only know…

I love being a mom….more specifically…

I love being “her” mom…my light in my sky…my smile in my heart…

Thank you Kristen….for filling my heart today….to overflowing…

the picture above is my daughter and my mother….

Happy Mothers Day to all mothers and hope you all had a day of love and joy.

 

Reflections of A Mother (auther unknown)

 

I gave you life,
but cannot live it for you.

 I can give you directions,
but I cannot be there to lead you.

 I can take you to church,
but I cannot make you believe.

 I can teach you right from wrong,
but I cannot always decide for you.

 I can buy you beautiful clothes,
but I cannot make you beautiful inside.

 

I can offer you advice,
but I cannot accept it for you.
 
I can give you love,
but I cannot force it upon you.

 I can teach you to share,
but I cannot make you unselfish.

 

I can teach you respect,
but I cannot force you to show honor.
 
I can advise you about friends,
but cannot choose them for you.
 
I can advise you about sex,
but I cannot keep you pure.
 
I can tell you about alcohol & drugs,
but I can’t say “No” for you.

 

I can tell you about lofty goals,
but I can’t achieve them for you.
 
I can teach you about kindness,
but I can’t force you to be gracious

 I can pray for you,
but I cannot make you walk with God.

I can tell you how to live,
but I cannot give you eternal life.
 
I can love you with unconditional love all of
my life… and I will.

 

 
 

 

 

 

The Realization

We walked along the shore….my daughter and I…the sun was warm on our shoulders…her laughter made my heart sing as it always did…collecting shells…kicking our feet at the waters edge… and each moment was precious…just the two of us…no real destination for either of us…just walking…no particular direction…but together…it did not really matter…her hand in mine…we could go and do anything…my life was happy…

I did not focus on what was behind us…it did not matter…what mattered was her and I…and to keep the smile on her face…for me…that was enough…it truly was…

We would run across others…they would walk along w/ us for a bit…I enjoyed their company…but after a time…they would want to stop and no…we would want to continue…we would smile politely and move on.

I saw something one day…the colors of its beauty flashed in the sun and for once…I wanted to stop and see what was catching my eye…we headed off our usual path…a new direction…and what began to lay out before our eyes…immediately brought squeals of delight from my daughter…and made the smile on my face grow wider…

This couldnt be happening…I had never seen anything like this before…green plush fields began to roll out in front of me…flowers blooming everywhere…butterflies lighting…here and there…everywhere…birds singing…my daughter began singing…skipping even as we approached closer…I stepped cautiously as I watched in almost disbelief…she on the other hand…went without fear…and when we saw him…standing there in the middle of the field…warm soft eyes looked at us…both of us…and they welcomed us…I began to shake a little…suddenly doubt and fear crept over me…this was too good to be true…there had to be something wrong with this picture…didnt it?

I held my daughters hand…and we kept our distance…we smelled the flowers…we chased the butterflies…we rolled in the softness of the velvety grass…we stared at the sky and laughed as we described the shapes of the clouds to one another…I held her to me and we sang…lullabyes and silly songs…and he watched us but did not approach…maybe knowing I would run if he did…but I could always see him…my daughter began waving to him daily…smiling and blowing him kisses…I even found myself smiling at him also…feeling safe here…both of us…

A strong wind picked up one day…I wondered what we would do…the skies began to darken…my heart beat faster…I picked my daughter up in my arms and began to look for shelter…I had to protect her..my eyes darted this way and that…unsure of which way I should take her…and then I realized what I was doing…I was looking for him…somehow I knew…he would protect her….and me….

He was moving quickly across the field…when he reached me…the wind was whipping at our bodies…my daughter grabbed him around the neck as he took her from me…without question she went to him…I looked at her and then…I looked into his eyes…and suddenly…I felt nothing around us…I saw nothing…but the three of us…the drops of rain broke me out of my trance as they began to hit my arms…and suddenly the three of us…laughed…our laughter rang out across the fields…and we ran…the rain began to pour down on us…but we continued to laugh…holding on to each other…

A beautiful little cottage….a light in the window….there….by the big oak tree…we headed there…he put my daughter down on the porch as he opened the door….warm and inviting…just like his eyes…my daughter ran in like she had been there a hundred times…I stopped in the doorway…and when he reached his hand out to me…I stepped inside and then I smiled…everything in its place…and for a moment…and I think only he saw it…a tear went down my cheek as the realization hit me…maybe it was just a raindrop…but I was sure he saw it…I just knew…

As the door closed behind me…and I saw my daughter smile at me w/ that face full of love…and I looked at him….smiling with that warmth that began sweeping over me…I knew where we were…all three of us…

We were home….