Distant

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The distance never mattered with us….

No matter the miles….you were always close in my heart….

Now it’s different…

It’s not so much the “distance” you are from me…

It’s more…

how “distant” you are to me…

 

I miss you

An Acquaintance

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Acquaintance—a person whom one knows who is not a particularly close friend

Friend—one attached to another by affection or esteem

I guess I need to remind myself sometimes of these differences….

Remember when you were young and you maybe hung with a crowd…you got to know new people based on who dated who or someones cousin or the friend of a friend kinda thing…maybe you did things often….maybe you spent lots of days or evenings experiencing life with these people…maybe your best friend married their best friend…you get my meaning right??

Now what if like twenty years later….you run across one of these people….maybe with social media of today like facebook….or you see them at a reunion….or maybe when you visit home, you just run into them at the mall or something…

I would be so happy to see some of those people again….I would want to pull up a chair or start a fire and grab some beers and sit with them and talk…share their journey…meet their family through pictures or stories or in person….my heart would warm at memories of past years and I would feel warm towards them now…

But I guess sometimes…..I have to remember that maybe even back then….20 years ago….maybe they didnt want to know me….besides just the social get togethers…and its possible that now….20 years later…they still dont…besides the smile and the oh hey…how ya doing…where you at….nice to see you bye thing….thats all they desire….maybe their hearts dont warm at the memories at all….I guess I have to remind myself of these things…kinda makes me sad….I will always feel warm towards them regardless…I love all my memories…they have made me who I am today…

So I have to step back….let it go….they didnt want to really get to know me then….and they dont want to really wish to know who I am now so I have to be ok with that….remind myself….that maybe they never were a friend…

They were and are merely…

An acquaintance..

Blessings

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When I leave work this morning….I begin 8 days off so I wanted to post a little something….for those of you I adore….my Gracie….Saffy….Desay….Paul….I know I can catch you on Facebook….but I miss reading you….yes Gracie you still stimulate my senses….lol…but I miss the heart of the rest of you….

Anyways….my life is still busy….but my heart is sad….I have been very affected by the events in Connecticut last week….my heart just hurts for all of those families….I find myself crying for them….I look at their pictures….I read about them….then I go home and hold my daughter closer….and I pray….sending my love their way and thanking Him for the blessings in my life…

Christmas approaches next week….we all celebrate differently here and there….but to me….I dont mind the differences in all of us…I am blessed to know all of you….we never know about this world we live in….so never be afraid to speak your heart….I am truly blessed with my family….even though I still miss my mother so very much….but I am also blessed by you guys….I love you dearly…

I came by WordPress tonight….not so much to post…to read a bit though….try to escape my tears….think of my blessings….and I went around to a few blogs and I kinda just got disappointed…one guy who was not a Christian so he didnt celebrate Jesus…which is ok to have your own belief…but he put up a tree and was giving thanks to the tree??? WTF I say…seriously….a tree?? by all means be thankful for the beautiful nature of this earth but your gonna blog about giving homage to a tree during the holiday?? it just annoyed me…must be the menopause I guess….lol….

then I found as I ventured….so many lost souls out there….wasting and whining about love gone bad or other silly things and I thought to myself….its good to cleanse our hurting hearts and minds….its good to share it with those around you to find comfort in words of others….but ok….I have read the whining for weeks…I just dont have time for that….you want to live in a dark hole forever….please…there is so much other more hurtful and dark things out there…..so much pain….people with illness….people losing their children suddenly….children hungry or with no homes….I cant read about your love life anymore and the trips down vodka lane….I understand it….I have been there…but put on your big boy panties and find something to bring your life some meaning….this life is so short….dont waste a moment…..live …..

Its the holiday season….I am blessed beyond words….I love with every fiber of my being even when I get angry or sad….I love you my friends….I miss you….

Happy Hanukkah
Merry Christmas

Rose

For Me

Gracie blogMany years ago I met a woman in chat that over the last 10 years has become my dearest friend…we have met several times…we talk every day…many times on some days….she is a light in my life and someone I am proud to call my friend…

I was reading her blog the other night…seeing which entries she chose to bring over here to WordPress when I came upon one which brought me memories…it was one she had written…

For me…

It was a time of indecision for me….choices I needed to make…ones that I was not sure I was capable and ready to make…frankly….I was scared…

But as a friend….she never pushes….she never makes judgements….she never demands….she never tries to fix me….she is just there…to listen…to comfort…to encourage and support….to cry along with and make me laugh….She is my Gracie….aka Life Through Greeneyes….and I love her mostly because she accepts me…

For Me….

So I share today this poem she wrote….

Beautiful Garden Steady and Strong

 

 So much has come between

One day and the next

And the ache in her heart

Beats to a rhythm out of harmony

And out of sync

I want to show her that she is more

Than bad memories of past expressions

But the background sounds drown out

All that is wonderful leaving her blue eyes

Out of focus on her moonless night

And sunless day

From within her breath is ragged

Growing tired of worn out mantras

And revisited scenarios of once upon a time

I would take those from her if I could

Replacing with energized scripts of all that is possible

Of what her truth and worth really are

Through eyes that see past the forest

And past the trees

But this journey has steps only she can climb

As my hand reaches up to this beautiful soul

Bundled in layers of protection from the elements

Of past storms and desolate surroundings

Come settle in my garden and root facing the warmth

And brightness that only new days can provide

I will find shade where you are safe

To grow and thrive and bend in the breeze

There is no fence and no locked gates

All she has to do is find that space

Where she too will know

What a beautiful part of our world

She is and will forever remain

Strong and steady in this forever tended to

Garden Of Roses

 

 

 

 

 

Hope Floats

__Against_the_Wind___by_JunkbyJenJust a little blog I had posted on 360 once back in 2007…for a friend of mine who still today battles leukemia…to remind us all….hope floats…in all of our hearts…

If you can look at the sunset and smile,
then you still have hope…

If you can find beauty in the colors of a small flower,
then you still have hope…

If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly,
then you still have hope…

If the smile of a child can still warm your heart,
then you still have hope…

If you can see the good in other people,
then you still have hope…

If the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep,
then you still have hope…

If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder,
then you still have hope…

If the soft fur of a favored pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips,
then you still have hope…

If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism,
then you still have hope…

If you give people the benefit of a doubt,
then you still have hope…

If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life,
then you still have hope…

If receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise,
then you still have hope…

If the suffering of others still fills you with pain and frustration,
then you still have hope…

If you refuse to let a friendship die, or accept that it must end,
then you still have hope…

If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection,
then you still have hope…

If you still buy the ornaments, put up the Christmas tree or cook the turkey,
then you still have hope…

If you still watch love stories or want the endings to be happy,
then you still have hope…

If you can look to the past and smile,
then you still have hope….
If, when faced with the bad, when told everything is futile,
you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase … yeah….BUT. .
Then you still have hope…

Hope is such a marvelous thing.
It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides, but rarely does it break… It sustains us when nothing else can…
It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead, when we tell ourselves we’d rather give in…
Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage…
Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it…
Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction… .
Hope is a wonderful thing, something to be cherished and nurtured, and something that will refresh us in return… And it can be found in each of us, and it can bring light into the darkest of places…
Never lose hope…
(author unknown)

Portrait of a Friend

1325888-lgI can’t give solutions to all of life’s problems, doubts, or fears.
But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.

I can’t change your past with all it’s heartache and pain,
nor the future with it’s untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can’t keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happinesses are not mine;
yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask.

I can’t prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can’t give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
but I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.

I can’t keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
but I can cry with you
and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place.

I can’t tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.

~Author Unknown~