Rush
This past weekend was so busy….it flew by…so quickly…
Sometimes when we are in a hurry….we forget the little things…
We rush….
We grab our things and finish our drinks…
We say our goodbyes….wave to others on the way out…
We drive off….quickly heading our own way….
But we have always been told to slow down….smell the “roses”…hehehehe
So I am thinking……
We should all…..
Breathe…..
Deeply….
Close our eyes….
Feel the breath on our cheeks….
The wind in our hair…
The soft touch of fingers….
Tracing small circles….
Around our breasts…
The tingle that follows…
The wet warmth….
Of tongue…
Parting our lips…
Tasting us…
Feeling our heartbeat…
Quicken…
Our hips…
Grind…
Our legs…
Part…
Our soft moan…
Escape our lips…
Yesssssss….
While we still have time…
I think….
We should….
Dont you???
Just something to kinda give ya a “rush”….smiling
Butterflies and Grandma
Well….according to my daughter…I am a grandma now….to 5 little caterpillars….smiles
Santa had brought her a butterfly habitat…we can watch the whole life cycle of a butterfly and then set them free…so we waited til the weather warmed before sending away for our live larvae….they arrived the day before yesterday….5 little brown fuzzy caterpillars…she was a mommy….lol
She has shown them around the house…she carries them to her bedroom at night to be close to her…bringing them down in the morning to spend the day w/ me…grandma….while she is at school…she has been so funny and cute…
She turns her alarm off…so as not to wake them…she put colorful tissue paper flowers around their jar to make them feel at home…and yesterday…after school…she sat at the dining room table and read them a book about butterflies…smiling
Now…I am telling no lie here…and I almost about fell outta my seat but when that baby read to those caterpillars….4 of them…came right up to the window of the jar while she read…like they were looking at the pictures she was showing them..it was the darndest thing I had ever seen…course one stayed in the back and slept…a boy she said most likely…lol
So…during the day now…on my dining table…sits my baby’s 5 lil caterpillars….yes…I speak to them….yes…I make sure they are eating…and yes…i make sure the room is warm for them…
I am a grandma now ya know…lol
Mothers Day 2010
She had painted me a jewelry box….in the shape of flip flops….signing the bottom…painting her fingertips….dating it…it was beautiful…then I opened the card….her writing…her hearts…then the school gifts she had made…her telling me how long and hard she had worked on these…
The most precious decorated card….filled w/ love….and a book…like a little journal….colored and illustrated w/ butterflies all over the front and back covers…filled w/ her handwriting of things she loved about me….things we shared as mother and daughter….her hand prints w/ each finger filled in with the 10 coolest things about your mom…the tears fell down my face…
You know…we love our children always….we know on days like today they are going to plan and do and say things to express it….but you still cant prepare for that moment….when you see their heart expressed in words or pictures or artwork….when you see their eyes watching you for your approval….when you feel their hand on yours and their little voice saying how much they love you….you always know it in your heart but it overwhelms you when it happens…
I was overwhelmed today….with so much love and joy I can not even explain….I only know…
I love being a mom….more specifically…
I love being “her” mom…my light in my sky…my smile in my heart…
Thank you Kristen….for filling my heart today….to overflowing…
the picture above is my daughter and my mother….
Happy Mothers Day to all mothers and hope you all had a day of love and joy.
Reflections of A Mother (auther unknown)
but cannot live it for you.
I can give you directions,
but I cannot be there to lead you.
I can take you to church,
but I cannot make you believe.
I can teach you right from wrong,
but I cannot always decide for you.
I can buy you beautiful clothes,
but I cannot make you beautiful inside.
but I cannot accept it for you.
I can give you love,
but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share,
but I cannot make you unselfish.
but I cannot force you to show honor.
I can advise you about friends,
but cannot choose them for you.
I can advise you about sex,
but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you about alcohol & drugs,
but I can’t say “No” for you.
but I can’t achieve them for you.
I can teach you about kindness,
but I can’t force you to be gracious
I can pray for you,
but I cannot make you walk with God.
but I cannot give you eternal life.
I can love you with unconditional love all of
my life… and I will.
The Realization
We walked along the shore….my daughter and I…the sun was warm on our shoulders…her laughter made my heart sing as it always did…collecting shells…kicking our feet at the waters edge… and each moment was precious…just the two of us…no real destination for either of us…just walking…no particular direction…but together…it did not really matter…her hand in mine…we could go and do anything…my life was happy…
I did not focus on what was behind us…it did not matter…what mattered was her and I…and to keep the smile on her face…for me…that was enough…it truly was…
We would run across others…they would walk along w/ us for a bit…I enjoyed their company…but after a time…they would want to stop and no…we would want to continue…we would smile politely and move on.
I saw something one day…the colors of its beauty flashed in the sun and for once…I wanted to stop and see what was catching my eye…we headed off our usual path…a new direction…and what began to lay out before our eyes…immediately brought squeals of delight from my daughter…and made the smile on my face grow wider…
This couldnt be happening…I had never seen anything like this before…green plush fields began to roll out in front of me…flowers blooming everywhere…butterflies lighting…here and there…everywhere…birds singing…my daughter began singing…skipping even as we approached closer…I stepped cautiously as I watched in almost disbelief…she on the other hand…went without fear…and when we saw him…standing there in the middle of the field…warm soft eyes looked at us…both of us…and they welcomed us…I began to shake a little…suddenly doubt and fear crept over me…this was too good to be true…there had to be something wrong with this picture…didnt it?
I held my daughters hand…and we kept our distance…we smelled the flowers…we chased the butterflies…we rolled in the softness of the velvety grass…we stared at the sky and laughed as we described the shapes of the clouds to one another…I held her to me and we sang…lullabyes and silly songs…and he watched us but did not approach…maybe knowing I would run if he did…but I could always see him…my daughter began waving to him daily…smiling and blowing him kisses…I even found myself smiling at him also…feeling safe here…both of us…
A strong wind picked up one day…I wondered what we would do…the skies began to darken…my heart beat faster…I picked my daughter up in my arms and began to look for shelter…I had to protect her..my eyes darted this way and that…unsure of which way I should take her…and then I realized what I was doing…I was looking for him…somehow I knew…he would protect her….and me….
He was moving quickly across the field…when he reached me…the wind was whipping at our bodies…my daughter grabbed him around the neck as he took her from me…without question she went to him…I looked at her and then…I looked into his eyes…and suddenly…I felt nothing around us…I saw nothing…but the three of us…the drops of rain broke me out of my trance as they began to hit my arms…and suddenly the three of us…laughed…our laughter rang out across the fields…and we ran…the rain began to pour down on us…but we continued to laugh…holding on to each other…
A beautiful little cottage….a light in the window….there….by the big oak tree…we headed there…he put my daughter down on the porch as he opened the door….warm and inviting…just like his eyes…my daughter ran in like she had been there a hundred times…I stopped in the doorway…and when he reached his hand out to me…I stepped inside and then I smiled…everything in its place…and for a moment…and I think only he saw it…a tear went down my cheek as the realization hit me…maybe it was just a raindrop…but I was sure he saw it…I just knew…
As the door closed behind me…and I saw my daughter smile at me w/ that face full of love…and I looked at him….smiling with that warmth that began sweeping over me…I knew where we were…all three of us…
We were home….
Love is all
On intertwined roads we met
Two souls lost in space
Not knowing where to go
Or where it leads to…
Slowly, yet surely
A spark ignites,
Thoughts, feelings take shape…
Onward we go to the road beyond
All that matters now is in our hearts…
Love is all…
**Author Unknown**
My Petal
Friday nights are family nights at my home when I dont have to go in to work that is…the three of us snuggle up together and we watch a movie of my daughters choosing…snack on popcorn or ice cream and just hang out together….as a family…
This past Friday….I sat and cried after the movie…my daughter had chosen “Bridge to Terabithia” and I cry every time…so as I sat surrounded in tissues…he left the room only to return to bend on one knee….holding a long stemmed red rose….speaking to me of beginnings and never endings…calling me his everything…his petal…and so…
Friday…February 19th…I officially became engaged…
I never thought I would say those words….now if I dont throw up and can say I do…lol
Stay tuned…
Turtle Dreams
My daughter is becoming a very good reader in first grade. We have moved up to reading chapter books. This past week we spent reading a book which I absolutely loved….it was called “Turtle Dreams” and being as I am a dreamer…it touched me…
A turtle was told to prepare for winter….to gather his winter dreams…he had never done this before so he didnt know what to do…where would he find these winter dreams so before the winter hit…off he went to search for his dreams…
He came upon several different animals along the way….asking each of them what their dreams were….
An otter….who dreamed of sliding down icy hills and doing flips…
A bird…who dreamed of flying for the first time….feeling the drop and then the lift to the sky..
A squirrel…who dreamed of climbing a large tree and eating nuts on the highest branch…
Each time the turtle told himself that he could never do these things…..these could not possibly be dreams for himself so he plodded off to continue his search….saddened more and more as winter approached and he had no dreams to carry…
He finally went home as winter was fast upon them….he swam to the bottom and buried himself in mud….sure that he would not survive winter with no dreams of his own…
But….the turtle dreamed….dreams like no other….not only did he dream all the dreams of the other animals….but he slid faster…he flew higher….climbed higher….and the nuts he ate tasted of sunshine and gold…
Then he dreamed of being himself….a turtle….sunning on a rock swishing his tail….stretching his neck to the sun….and he was happy….with his own turtle dreams…
I just loved that story…..smiles
Untouched
There are so many things written about it…..so many things it can do…..so many ways it can describe our feelings or be described….the list is endless…..and as I touch my chest and feel it….deep inside me….I think about it….
It is known to be the symbol of Love….it can be given freely not only to the one you love….but to your children….to your family and friends….even to those you reach out to across the miles never seeing their faces….but you give it anyway to ease their pain…..or to charities and benefits to help many for a cause or a belief that you hold dear….amazing how it can give….
It can be called happy…..warm…..kind…..generous
Yet, it can also be sad……lonely…..broken…..and shattered
It can be filled…..from candy….to joy….to forgiving….to loving
It can be one of gold…..or some may say it is black…..or some may even get a purple one for courage and bravery
It can race….jump right out of your chest….be a wild one
It can be open…..or it can be closed and surrounded by walls for protection
It can be passionate…..or it can be cold
It can be hard…..or it can be soft
It can be strong…..or also….frail
It can be whole…..and yet it can be empty
It can be free…..or it can be possessed
You can wear it on your sleeve….or it could be hidden
It can hurt…..even bleed
It can be honest….yet some can call it cheating
And one of my favorite quotes is from Helen Keller….
” The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt…..with the heart.”
I think about mine when my hand rests there….it is my life force….pumping life throughout my entire being….
It has seen many things…..felt even more….such an amazing journey we have traveled so far….for such a small piece of our anatomy….it seems it can be limitless to what it can do…..and then when I think of my own….I realize something about it….
As far as it has been….it still has far to go….as small as it is….it still can only grow….for there is so much of it…that is yet
Unchartered…
*
Untamed….
*
*
Untouched…….
A Grain of Sand
A grain of sand…..just like any other…..living its existence alone….the wind blowing it about aimlessly….landing and spending its days without purpose….merely flowing about through time…but once it collects and gathers with others like itself….give it rain….water….it molds itself….pulls itself together with the others….and over time….through the rough weather and the heat of the sun….it hardens….becoming merely a stone….no longer able to blow with the wind….not wanting to….now living its existence in the comfort of its surroundings…..content to spend its time becoming even harder…..the elements of weather sometimes taking pieces of it….but it remains solid….until one day….
A stone carver happened upon the stone….picking it up in his hands…he saw something….something that maybe no other saw….something within it….he put it in his pocket with care….took it home….and with patience and time….the hard edges began to mold….with precision and love….its inner shape began to form….many hours he spent…polishing it….caring for it….and one day….he held it up and smiled….it was no longer a rock aging with time….alone outside….but now it shone….a brilliant shine….light reflecting off of its beauty…..its shape….now in the form of a small heart….and in seeing what he helped to form….he held it close to him….almost feeling it beat beneath his fingers….knowing it would stay with him for all time….
Maybe all of us in our lives at some point are like grains of sand…merely blowing in the wind with no purpose….
Or perhaps we find ourselves in a place like a stone….finding comfort in our stable surroundings….yet aging and surviving the elements of our lives…hardening ourselves as we do….
But what a wonder it is to be found….and loved…and letting ourselves open up to what is found in all of us….what can be formed with patience and time….a heart that shines in the light….
From a mere grain of sand……
I held a stone heart in my hand recently….it sparkled….felt cool and smooth in my fingers….I thought about the life of it….who spent the time creating it…..and then I looked at my friends…..and smiled….and my heart beat louder than ever…..and life….was good….beautiful….and I felt thankful….for something as simple….
as a grain of sand…..*smiles*
Memories of a Weekend
For my baby….who seems to always make my heart smile…
After a Friday night with friends….dinner and celebrating Christmas beneath the largest indoor Christmas tree I have ever seen…it seemed the good feelings this weekend never ended…
No traveling….no activities to attend….just relaxing at home…and finding homes for new toys and new things…
We played….games…
We drew and painted…
We made cupcakes with her new cupcake maker and laughed til we cried when frosting went flying around the kitchen…her eyes for a moment with tears thinking oh no…what a mess…until I laughed at splatters of pink on my counter…then we spinned it around again…
We set up her tent in the living room….playing cards inside…pretending to be on an expedition in the jungle…playing babies…trying to camp out in there Saturday night only to find mommy with aching back escaping…lol
We made lunch together…fried bologna so she could smack down the rising middle as it heated….again laughing…
We sang karoake….
We used her bionic eye to laugh again at our skin…..hair….tongues….magnified to life on the television….
We played in aquasand….forming something of no real shape under water….but when you dip it out…it is dry…simply colored sand…magical…
Like my weekend….reminding me…sometimes….life is magical….simple…and full of laughter…and even my Dallas Cowboys mangaged to win in playoff game…more magic…lol
And when I layed down with her last night….asking what was her favorite part….we reminisced over everything…and her answer…simple….
Everything…
